The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize