What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Someone signed my nipple.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
