Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry lwd75 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.

Fav 18 914 3881
share tweet
(416): View more from Ontario

No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her

Fav 108 4337 1356
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(214): View more from Texas

someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet

Fav 23 3934 848
share tweet
(650): View more from California

last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'

Fav 16 5801 1557
share tweet
(917): View more from New York City

But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.

Fav 6 2222 860
share tweet
(260): View more from Indiana

His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.

Fav 8 5121 1264
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.

Fav 8 2462 1146
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(330): View more from Ohio

I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...

Fav 0 40 25
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?

Fav 0 18 32
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT