i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
