Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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