I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
