sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
