You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
