Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
