11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
