I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
