maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize