I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
