I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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