Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
