A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
She needs sedatives and a leash
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
