no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Enjoy the penises
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize