Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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