Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
