so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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