nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
