I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
