it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
