I cockslap morals
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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