Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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