Sorry, I don't speak sober.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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