Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
