Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
