You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Walk of Shame today included voting.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
