How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
