1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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