My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
