she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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