These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
