Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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