it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
