sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
