I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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