oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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