i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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