Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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