thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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