he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
