I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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