He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
