she was so not down for the gang bang
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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