She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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