im holly from the hills drunk
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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