it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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