is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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