There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
