Me too!
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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