ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
