no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
