Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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