Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
