i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Randomize