You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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