Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
