I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
