Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
