He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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