party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
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