Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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