She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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