All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize