Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
