dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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