You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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